Let Me Go

The tighter I hold on,
All the more it slips away.
Everything I want to be is sliding from me.
I can’t pull it back.

I’m screaming inside.
The bellowing of Bella can’t drown it out.
Help me. Cure me. Kill me.
I’d give my life to be like you.

Hand me your bullets.
I’ll bury them in my body.
Release me from this prison.
I can’t stand the torment anymore.

Scarred, drugged and broken.
Feed me these empty pills.
A pill to make me numb, a pill to make me dumb,
And all of them to make me worse.

Threaten me with hospitals.
Obviously tears aren’t helping.
So cart me off and strap me up.
Can you control me?

I can buzz and buzz.
Just don’t let me drown.
My lungs are aching with the pressure.
And my heart with longing to be alive.

Misery and torment are my only friends.
They know me.
They love to carve themselves in my skin.
I bleed and bleed and still I suffer.

I can’t vent this frustration on anything but myself.
I plead and scream and I shout.
No one’s listening little one.
You’re mine now.

I‘m bound in chains by my own demons.
And they are K I L L I N G M E.
I can’t get rid of them.
I can’t survive.

I’m begging you now.
Please, for all you love, kill me.
Before this disease spreads.
And for all I can still love, free me.