Liar

I write my words.
And I hide them from you.
I’ll put a smile on my face.
The truth isn’t always better than a lie.

I keep myself from the world.
I’m scared to open up and let you in.
It’s because I love you that I must protect you.
Even if it hurts us both.

I try to speak to you.
The words are there, poised on my tongue.
A few slip out and the tears start rolling.
All the other ones disappear into nothingness.

I want you to help.
I dread you deserting me.
But I don’t know how to speak about this.
If you need it I’ll try.

I’m not popping pills like smarties.
I’ll try to not slash my wrists.
I’m not getting stoned everyday.
It’s taken you to point this out.

I see a speck of light.
But I’ve still got that sinking feeling.
I can feel your warmth.
I’m still so cold, but I know you’re there.